1st Day of Preschool
by Kinola
Summary: Not your average first day of preschool...


**Disclaimer: I own all these characters. This is an entirely OC story. Once again, this has to do with my Gary Stu character, Lewis Anderson.**

* * *

It was a beautiful late August day in the town of Point Granite, located in the land of Enigami. At the residence of the famous and rich Anderson family, excitement was going on. Lancelot and Frances as well as their children Anthony, Kelsey, Peter, and Melissa were very excited, too. Today, Lancelot's youngest son Lewis was to start his first day of school.

However, Lewis _wasn't_ Lancelot's biological son. Four years ago, Lewis was left on their doorstep by a mysterious group of people from a poor trailer park/town known as "Xanza." The mother of Lewis, whoever she was, wanted the best for her son, and so, she gave him up to the Anderson family in exchange for $900,000, and since then, Lewis had always been an Anderson.

Despite the fact Lewis was only four-years-old; there was something unique about him, something so unique that it separated him from all the other children. He seemed to be normal when he was still an infant, but when he started walking and talking, it was clear that Lewis was a very extraordinary child. When he was just starting to talk (at thirteen months) he began reading, but he only read the picture books given to him by his adopted parents. But as the months passed, Lewis began to read short chapter books (usually the ones going up to seven chapters), and then long books with more than twenty chapters and non-fiction books (one occasion, Lewis's older adopted sister Kelsey witnessed him reading an encyclopedia). He started to do multiplication and long division. He knew all nine planets, and could easily tell a comet from a meteor. In other words, Lewis was a pure genius; a child prodigy.

At first, Frances was very pleased with her adopted son and his intelligence, but at the same time, worried. She was wondering how this would affect his future and his sociality with other children, usually dreading that he'd be picked on because he was strange to them. And so, instead of sending the little four-year-old boy to college, for people would mock him and become suspicious, she decided to start him off in preschool, just like everyone else his age. "I can't send you to college right now, Lewis," Frances told him a month ago, as they went shopping for school supplies. "The law requires that _all_ children your age must go to preschool. It's the only way."

And right now, Lancelot, his wife, his four children ranging from eight to thirteen, and the staff who worked for the rich family stood outside of the fancy mansion, waiting for Lewis's debut. But twenty minutes passed and there was still no sign of the little boy.

"Hurry up, Lewis, my little sweetheart!" called Frances from outside the house. "Everyone's waiting for you. What's taking you so long?" "Just a few more minutes is all I need, Mother!" Lewis called to her from upstairs. "And then I'll come out, don't you worry."

"Oh dear, oh dear," Frances panted, walking in circles. "I haven't felt this nervous since Peter started school. And he's always a troublemaker." "Mom, you know I'm over that!" exclaimed Peter, holding an unlighted firework. "Then what's with the firework?" questioned Kelsey. "When Lewis gets home from preschool, I'm going to set it off if he had a good day at preschool," Peter retorted. "So SHUT UP!" And Peter pushed his older sister and she fell to the ground.

Another twenty minutes passed, and still, there was no sign of Lewis. To make things worse, the twelve servants waiting for the little boy were getting impatient. And when the twelve servants got impatient, they began talking.

"Come on, Lewis, while we're still young!" said Servant #1, a footman. "I'm aging by the second!"

"Jeez, what's taking that little boy so long?" asked Servant #2, the cook. "Hurry up kid; we ain't gettin' any younger 'round here!"

"I like cheese!" exclaimed Servant #3 with a happy smile, as if there was nothing that seemed to matter right now. He was a housekeeper.

"Oh my goodness…Lancelot is so…so handsome in the daytime," whispered Servant #4, a flirtatious maid with wavy blond hair.

"I wish I was a leprechaun who danced his worries away, and everyone was happy as they listened to rap and drank wine," uttered Servant #5, the butler.

"I need to drink some beer! And fast! I can't live without it!" panicked Servant #6, the groundskeeper. "If I were to die standing here, I would want a Miller Lite or a Guinness or…a Budweiser to chug down. Oh…oh dear…it's too much! I need beer now! Oh Lewis, where are you?"

"Yo, yo, yo, I is a driver; I wanted to be a rapper, yo, yo, yo," sang Servant #7, the chauffeur. "I's livin' in da suburbs when I wanted to be in da urban place, y'hear? I's a professional rapper! Wanna be like M.C.! Peace out."

"As soon as that boy's gone to school, I'm going to bake some cake, and then eat the cake," said Servant #8, a chubby maid with short, curly reddish-brown hair, rubbing her stomach. "I'm _so_ hungry." And just for the records, Servant #8 was _always_ hungry.

"Tap-a, tap-a, tap-a, tappity-tappity-tap," sang Servant #9 silently as he tapped his tap dancing shoes. He was a cook just like Servant #2.

"I wish with all my heart to smoke a cig," uttered Servant #10, the other housekeeper next to Servant #3. "But first, maybe I should get that boy down here!"

"And there they are, and sooooooooo you will beeeeeeeeeeeee!" sang Servant #11, the third cook.

"¿Dónde está Lewis¡No puedo creer esto¿He trabajado para la familia de Anderson por casi cinco años, y esto es qué sucede¡Y también consigo veinte dólares pagados, también¡Debo conseguir un aumento para esto!" Servant #12 exclaimed, angered. He was the family's Spanish tutor, and he _only_ spoke Spanish.

Just then, Servant #5 exclaimed, "Look, there he is! He's finally here!" Everyone gasped in excitement and looked towards the doorway. There, wearing a dark brown tuxedo and shined loafers was Lewis Anderson himself. He was lugging his dark blue backpack, which Frances noticed was somewhat heavy. Despite this, Lewis stood there, proud of himself.

"Hello, Lewis Anderson! Congratulations on your first day of preschool!" said everyone but Servant #12, who'd exclaimed, "¡Elogie a pequeño muchacho Lewis en su primer día de la escuela!" They all began to clap and cheer for the boy. This was truly an exciting moment for the Andersons.

"Lewis, my son, what's in your bag?" Frances questioned. "Oh…uh…just a few things," Lewis lied. "Things?" Frances was confused. Then, she said, "Oh, Lewis…here, come with me…I'll put a different outfit on you." She led her adopted son back inside the house.

"Frances, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone screamed, horrified. Now they'd have to wait ANOTHER twenty minutes. They'd grow beards and die by the time they came back!

"¡Frances, usted idiota¿Cómo podría usted¡Casi hemos estado esperando aquí por una hora¿Cuál es su problema¡Apenas deje a cabrito ir a la escuela en eso!" Servant #12 exclaimed in horror. Everyone blankly stared at him, for they didn't know what he was saying, being a Spanish tutor and all that stuff.

Frances led Lewis back to his bedroom, where she gave him a plain red T-shirt, a pair of suede brown pants, and a pair of white sneakers. And as he changed, Frances opened her son's dark blue backpack and gasped. Along with the markers and crayons Frances gave to Lewis a few days back, there were three dictionaries, two thesauruses, a book about geology, and three mystery novels.

"Oh dear me, Lewis!" Frances said softly. "You shouldn't take _all_ these books to school with you. You're going into preschool, not college. Why would you take these?" Lewis was a very intelligent boy, but Frances wanted her little dear to go to preschool like everyone else, so no one would look at him as a nerd.

"Because I want to give rations of my knowledge and educate the young pupils who will be alongside me in preschool," Lewis replied. "Mother, even though I'm about to make my advent into preschool, I want to be something prophetic as I get older, and the dynasty of Lewis is to begin now." "Yes, Lewis, I know," Frances said. "But…I don't think the other kids at your school are ready for your knowledge yet. Maybe you can wait a year or two before you teach them. Try to make friends with them instead. Okay?" "Very well, mother," Lewis sighed. "I'll wait a few years." Frances smiled and said, "Good boy. Be downstairs very soon, Lewis." Then, she left. But, as soon as his adopted mother had left, Lewis slipped one of the dictionaries and the book on geology into his backpack and ran out of his room. He didn't want to keep everyone waiting.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the Anderson mansion…

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I can't stand this any longer!" screamed Servant #6. "Beer is GOOOOOOOOOOOD! I can't WAAAAAIT! I want some BEEEEEEEEEEEER!" Everyone hurriedly restrained Servant #6 as he chanted, with foam coming out of his mouth, "BEER IS GOOD! BEER IS GOOD! BEER IS GOOD…AND STUFF! LET'S GO DRINK SOME BEEEEEEEEER!!!!" "Relaje, tipo," sighed Servant #12. "Apenas un poco rato, entonces usted puede beber su cerveza." "Wait a minute, look!" exclaimed Servant #5 again. "There he is, again! Lewis is back, again!"

Everyone turned to the front door eagerly as Lewis stood there, this time slightly nervous. "Er…salutations, everyone," the boy said as he waved nervously. "I…I'm very nervous of going off to school." "You'll do fine, my son," Lancelot told him in reassurance, pretending to ignore Servant #4's flirty glances and mock kisses. Servant #12 questioned, "¿Lewis, es usted listo para la escuela¿O tenemos que esperar otros veinte minutos?"

Just then, the bus pulled up in front of the Anderson family's mansion. "Oh look, everyone! The bus is here!" Frances exclaimed. She briefly kissed her son as Servant #6 rushed into the house to finally drink some well-deserved beer. "Goodbye, dear Lewis," Frances said to him. "Good luck at school." "I will, Mother," Lewis called to her as he climbed onto the bus. As soon as the bus was gone, everyone stood there, admiring the little determined boy who'd just left. The silence was broken when Peter asked, "Does anyone want to play Monopoly till he gets back?" Everyone exclaimed happily, "Of course! I do! Yes, indeed! Let's go for it¡Si!" And so, everyone ran inside to play a few dozen rounds of Monopoly as Servant #6 continued guzzling beer and Servant #10 smoked a cigarette.

During the bus ride to his preschool, Lewis slipped out the dictionary he'd brought along and began to read it, eager for knowledge. "Oh my!" Lewis whispered softly as he looked in the "P" section of the book. "Here's an interesting word: petulant: 'moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation.' Interesting word that 'petulant' is…well, here's another good one: rumbly: 'rumbling; attended with, making, or causing a rumbling sound.' Let's look here in the 'V' section and—oh wow! Another good word to learn: venation: 'the arrangement of veins, as in a leaf or an insect's wings.' I love the dictionary…"

And as Lewis read about the word "cumulous," the bus swerved and pulled up near the Point Granite Preschool. "All right, kids, EVERYONE OFF THE BUS!" shouted the bus driver, a portly man smoking a cigarette. "And, oh yeah, HAVE A GOOD DAY."

Lewis Anderson got off the bus with the other children and moved towards the playground, where he saw many other children his age playing and laughing and jumping around and having a jolly good time.

"Wow! A bounteous assemblage of children," Lewis said aloud. When he said this, everyone stopped playing and stared at him. The children stared at this boy for a long time and they weren't sure what he'd just said. This was probably the weirdest child they'd met.

"A _what_ of children?" piped up one of the boys. "Yeah, what'd you just say, kid?" questioned another boy.

"A bounteous assemblage of children," Lewis replied matter-of-factly, stepping forward. "Bounteous means large and assemblage means group. So, when I said 'A bounteous assemblage of children,' I was _actually_ saying 'A large group of children.' Do you see now?" Everyone blankly stared at this strange boy for a moment before returning back to their playing. Lewis sighed as he watched them play. His mother was right. Maybe everyone wasn't ready for his teachings yet.

Just then, a tall woman in a blue dress blew a whistle. But everyone didn't hear her, so the woman blew an air horn, and everyone heard it loud and clear. "All right, ya little termites, line up!" she called as she tossed the toothpick she was chewing on away. And almost instantly, Lewis and all the other children rushed to line up. But some kids crashed into each other simultaneously and fell over unconscious.

The tall woman separated the large group of children into several groups of twenty as she practically hollered everyone's name. As soon as every child (even the ones who were knocked out, for they'd regained consciousness when the tall woman was getting the kids into a specific group) had been put into a group, the woman shouted, "All right, y'all better listen up good, because I'm getting laid tomorrow." All eyes were upon the woman.

The tall woman (we'll call her Gladys) said, "Okay, I don't have a lot of time to talk to you, so here it goes: you little kids are starting preschool, a 'training' for what lies ahead of you. Next year, you will start kindergarten, then after that, you go on to first grade, followed by second grade, third grade, fourth, fifth, and so on. When you graduate from high school, you think the learning's over, but it's not. You have to go off to college, the final part of your education, where you must put up with toga parties and final exams. You learn tough things and you are tested on what you know so far. If you do well, you pass college, and you've become successful and take a highly successful job, like a CEO or a business person. But if not, you fail, and you have to take a low-class job, such as working at a fast food restaurant or a shoe store. For education is like a video game, every time you win on a level, you go to the next, and college is the game's boss. Trust me kids, I know; I've been through this epic and life-threatening game called 'education.' And now, it's your turn to take up your predecessor's mantle at learning. Do your best, and if you do, it might pay off. And now, go, little kids. Go and learn as much as you can; prepare for you future. Now, if you guys don't mind, I have to go get laid now."

None of the kids but Lewis understood what Gladys had just said; it sounded like, "Blah blah blah blah video game blah blah blah." So, most of the kids were pretty much confused when she ordered them to go inside to their assigned classes to meet their teachers.

The name of Lewis's teacher was a single woman name Ms. Ellis. She was almost thirty-five years old. Her hair was burnt umber and her eyes were a plain gray. She didn't wear anything special, just a red cotton dress over a wetsuit (her second job was as a swimming instructor), a pair of blue platform shoes, and long, red and white striped stockings going up to her knees. Over her red dress was a white apron. Ms. Ellis also wore cherry red lipstick and her fingernails were painted electric green. As Lewis and his new classmates came into the classroom (Room 17, it was called), Ms. Ellis hid the Mexican burritos she was eating and stood up behind her desk.

"Sit down, kids," she called to them. There were four tables with seven chairs at each one. Lewis and the students obediently sat down at them as Ms. Ellis began to speak.

"Okay, my name's Ms. Ellis, and I'm going to be your teacher for this year." She drank some Pepsi and belched before continuing. "This is your first day of preschool, little children, and I hope we shall have a lot of fun…" And she babbled on about nothing in particular.

As she talked, two children at Lewis's table leaned towards him. One was a girl with pigtails and the other was a boy wearing a blue baseball cap.

"Hey, you," the boy with the baseball cap whispered, poking Lewis. "Are you the boy who talks funny?" "Certainly," Lewis replied. "Why do you ask? But before you ask me questions, I'll tell you my name: I'm Lewis Anderson, son of Lancelot and Frances Anderson. Who are you two?"

"I'm Angelica Quinn," the girl with the pigtails said.

"And I'm Winston Conway," the boy added.

"HEY! SHUT UP OVER THERE!" shouted Ms. Ellis. "I'M TRYING TO TELL THE OTHERS SOMETHING! SO KEEP QUIET!"

So, Lewis, Angelica, and Winston along with the rest of the class had to sit quietly and listen to Ms. Ellis babble and rant onward for ten minutes. When she was done, she said, "Okay, with that cleared out of my system, I'm going to pass out papers and crayons. You can draw until reading time. So, GET TO IT!" Then, she went back to her desk so she could continue eating her Mexican burritos and drink her Pepsi.

As the children drew and colored, Lewis thought about home. What was his mother doing right now? And his father? And the servants? His older siblings started school next week, so he knew that _they_ were cherishing the last of their summer vacation.

Just then, Ms. Ellis finished up her Mexican burritos and her Pepsi and ushered everyone to sit in a circle Indian style on the floor. The kids sat on a large, square, red-and-yellow-polka-dotted rug. Sitting in the middle of the circle on a chair was Ms. Ellis herself, a book in her hands. All eyes were upon her.

Lewis heard his teacher mutter, "Okay, I better do this right. It's been a long time since I sang 'The Reading Song,' and I don't want my voice to crack when I sing." Then, she cleared her voice and began to sing:

**_"Gather, little children,_**

**_Look to me and hear,_**

**_In my hands I have a book,_**

**_So precious and oh so dear._**

**_So listen as I read,_**

**_Hear my little song,_**

**_And soon, you shall hear and listen,_**

**_And do please follow along."_**

Suddenly, Ms. Ellis was hit in the head with a block and someone shrieked, "YOU SUCK!" Lewis gasped and turned to see a boy his age. Lewis knew the boy well, he was known as Johnny Bryant. Johnny lived on his street and was known for causing mayhem.

Almost instantly, Ms. Ellis turned cold. She threw the book down and thundered, "All right, now! Who did it? Who threw the block at me? Pay up or else no one gets snack time! I know where you all live!"

Wanting to be praised by his teacher, Lewis stood up and cried, "Ms. Ellis, I know who did the abhorrent felony! It was Johnny Bryant!" He pointed to Johnny and added, "I've witnessed him do it! He is the racketeer."

"What?" Ms. Ellis gasped, and she turned to Johnny Bryant. "Little Johnny Bryant! Come with me, now!" And she took the boy by the hand and took him out of Room 17, with Johnny kicking, struggling, and screaming, "No, wait! Don't do this, teacher! Help me, guys, please! Let me go, Ms. Ellis, you meanie! Ms. Ellis, _please_…let go of me! Help! Let me go! Somebody help me! Help, let me go! Let…me…_go_!" But Johnny didn't get any help, and Ms. Ellis dragged him out of the room.

As soon as teacher and preschooler were gone, the room was silent. The children were surprised to see a child freak like that. Angelica turned to Lewis and asked if he knew Johnny. "Of course, Angelica," replied Lewis. "Johnny Bryant resides on my street. He such an agitator, that Johnny. Why, once, he threw water balloons at my older sisters Kelsey and Melissa and blamed it on his dog Rife."

"What's an agitator?" pondered a little girl named Lillian.

"Yeah, and what's a racketeer?" added another boy named Jack. "And also, what's 'abhorrent' and 'felony?'"

"Hey, I know you!" exclaimed a boy as he stood up. Lewis recognized him as one of the children on the playground from earlier. "You're that kid who says odd words, the one from earlier."

"Why…of course I am," Lewis said timidly. "My name is Lewis Anderson, son of Lancelot and Frances Anderson, brother of Anthony, Kelsey, Peter, and Melissa. Who are you?"

"Connor Arnett," the little boy replied. "Lancelot Anderson is your daddy, you say? You mean that billionaire who lives in Point Granite?" Lewis nodded and said, "My Dad owns the town's mall." Everyone "oohed" and "ahhed."

Right then and there, Ms. Ellis returned to Room 17, without Johnny. Apparently, the little boy was told to stay in the principal's office for the whole recess. But what Ms. Ellis _didn't_ know was that Johnny Bryant was an escape artist.

"Bad news, guys," Ms. Ellis announced as she entered the classroom. "We won't have story time now. Normally, we have it before recess. But don't worry, I promise that we'll have story time after recess."

When no one was looking, Lewis snuck to his backpack and took out the geology book. He hid it under his shirt so no one would see it. Luckily, no one did.

Ms. Ellis led the students outside back to the playground, where Lewis eagerly snuck off to hide in some bushes and pulled out his geology book to read. It'd been a third birthday present from his grandfather, Amos Anderson. Amos _knew_ the boy was a genius, and had told him that if he was to become a geologist, like him, then that book would help him gain knowledge on what he should know. Almost instantly, Lewis was enchanted by the geology book. He had entered the curious world that told him about ground, rocks, the difference between lava and magma, volcanoes and mountains, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions and erosions and how they were caused…

"Hey Lewis, whatcha got there?" piped up a feminine voice. Lewis looked up and saw Angelica, Winston, Lillian, Jack, Connor, and some other children from different classes standing in a semicircle around him and looking at him.

"Oh, salutations everyone," Lewis said with a smile. "I was reading a book about geology."

"Geology?" questioned Connor with a puzzled expression. "What's geology?"

"Geology is the study of rocks," Lewis explained, excited to see that they were fascinated with his intelligence. "The word 'geology' is derived from 'ge,' the Greek word for 'earth,' and 'logos,' meaning 'speech.' The geology book talks about plate tectonics and minerals and fossils as well as volcanoes and mountains. My grandfather Amos Anderson is a geologist, a person who studies rocks, and he gave me this book to read on my third birthday, in case if I were to become a geologist like him some day. You should read this, guys, it's so fascinating…" And before he knew it, Lewis was giving the children a lesson about geology, unaware of a certain child coming his way. They all listened in fascination, their eyes wide. This was much more interesting than story time.

"What? That's crazy talk!" exclaimed an irritated voice when Lewis was barely halfway through. The children turned and saw Johnny Bryant standing there, his arms folded, his hazel eyes glaring at Lewis.

"It's _not_ crazy talk, Johnny!" Lewis retorted. "It's science...and knowledge. And how'd you get out here? You're not supposed to be out here. Ms. Ellis took you to the principal office because you threw a block at her."

Johnny smirked and said, "I snuck out when no one was lookin'. Them dumb teachers think they can go an' keep _me_ locked in while you guys have all the fun. But I proved 'em wrong." He was proud of himself.

"Johnny, Ms. Ellis isn't gonna like that," Angelica cried. "Go back to the principal's office, while you still can!"

"No way, li'l lady," the boy snapped back. "I ain't gonna do it. Now, if y'all don't mind, I'm gonna go swingin' on the swing set. See y'all later!" And he ran to the swings nearby.

_"Why should I worry?"_ Johnny thought to himself. _"They're just a buncha dumb kids, an' I can do whatever I please. I'm special."_

Johnny went over to the swing set and saw the principal on the swings, for he was on break. Panicking that he might get caught, he went over to the hopscotch place only to see Ms. Ellis playing hopscotch; her blue platform shoes practically cracked the concrete as she hopped on one foot to eight. Terrified, Johnny raced back into the school and hid in a safe place.

"Hah, no one will find me here," he smirked cunningly. But right at that second, he realized he was back in the principal's office.

"Oh crap."

Meanwhile, Lewis was telling the preschoolers about earthquakes and how they're caused. The children were fascinated at these facts being poured onto them, like water being poured into a cup. A fancy one, with pretty roses painted on and costs over $9,000 at an auction site.

"HEY, STUPID KIDS!" hollered a teacher. "RECESS IS OVER! COME IN…OR ELSE WE'LL RELEASE THE HOUNDS!"

"Oh, no, not the hounds! NOT THE HOUNDS!" cried a preschooler.

"C'mon, guys! Before it's too late!" exclaimed Connor.

To be honest with you fellow readers, there were no hounds. That teacher who'd said that they'd release the hounds was probably being rhetorical or sarcastic or something like that. Either way, the kids got back into the school, where Lewis and his fellow classmates returned to Room 17 to see Ms. Ellis chatting with her boyfriend, Derek. After playing hopscotch, Derek came by and he and his girlfriend went back to Room 17 just to converse with each other. When the thirty-five-year-old woman saw the students back in the classroom, she told Derek that it was time for him to leave and he left, with his gal promising that they'd talk to each other again when school let out.

"Hello again, children," said Ms. Ellis.

"Hello, Ms. Ellis," they chirruped back.

"All righty, then," stated Ms. Ellis. "Since we're back from recess, we can finally do story time. After story time, we'll have snack time, followed by playtime. Isn't that fun?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay! Now, let's all sit in a circle on the red-and-yellow-polka-dotted-rug while I go and get the story we're reading."

Once again, the kids sat down on the rug as their teacher went to get the story that was going to be read to them. And once again, Ms. Ellis sat in the middle of the circle and began to sing her story time song, but this time, she added a new lyric in response to the little incident that'd happened earlier.

**_"Gather, little children,_**

**_Look to me and hear,_**

**_In my hands I have a book,_**

**_So precious and oh so dear._**

**_So listen as I read,_**

**_Hear my little song,_**

**_And soon, you shall hear and listen,_**

**_And do please follow along._**

**_And don't throw any blocks at my head, please."_**

Eyes wide with curiosity, Lewis and the other children looked to the woman as she said, "The story we're going to read today (CONNOR, STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE) is a favorite of mine since I was a little girl. It's called, 'Lenny Kaput and the Cirque de w00t.'"

So then, Ms. Ellis began to read the story to the young audience. It was all about a little boy named Lenny Kaput and his trip to the Cirque de w00t, where he saw elephants and tigers and jumping zebras along with people who flew and sprinkled pixie dust on the audience, giving them magic powers. Everyone laughed at the part where Lenny "accidentally on purpose" sold himself to the circus in exchange for some popcorn because he was hungry. The children gasped when Lenny had to walk a tightrope and fell, but they were relieved to know that the boy landed safely in a net and was found by his ever-so-kind mother and his loyal little brother, Manfred. And they clapped and cheered when the story finished with, "So Lenny Kaput learned a valuable lesson: never sell yourself to a circus for popcorn, just like the Cirque de w00t, for you'll never know what'll be in store for you."

"Wow!" Lewis exclaimed "That was amazing!"

"You liked it, huh Lewis?" Angelica prodded. She got a nod from Lewis as a response. Various children began to clamor and exclaim about the book.

"Lenny Kaput is cool!"

"I agree! Lenny's totally awesome."

"I want to be his bride," announced Lillian. "We'll get married and then we'll live happily ever after in the Cirque de w00t."

"It sounded funny when he sold himself to the Cirque de w00t just for some popcorn!"

"Now, it's snack time!" cheered Ms. Ellis as she crossed to a small refrigerator. She pulled out some cookies and carrot sticks and orange juice just for the kids. "Line up and get your stuff! Free cookies and carrot sticks and orange juice for all!"

As the children cheered and went to get their snacks, Johnny Bryant came back into Room 17. He saw the cookies and the orange juice and immediately went straight for them. When Ms. Ellis's back was turned, Johnny snatched three cookies before he darted off to join the other children.

Lewis saw him do it, but didn't tattle on him. He got his cookies, carrot sticks, and orange juice from Ms. Ellis and joined Winston, Connor, and Angelica.

When everyone was finished with their snacks, it was play time. Play time lasted until dismissal. With much persuasion, Angelica and Winston got Lewis to build a castle of blocks with them and pretend to be knights. Meanwhile, Connor pulled out his Playstation, hooked it up to a small TV in the classroom, and then challenged Johnny to play one of his games with him. "You're on," Johnny grinned in response. Most of the kids gathered around and cheered Connor and Johnny on as they played a go-kart racing video game. Ms. Ellis didn't notice, for she was on her cell phone, chatting with her dear boyfriend Derek.

As the kids watched Connor and Johnny play on the Playstation, and Ms. Ellis talk to her boyfriend, Lewis, along with Angelica and Winston, were pretending to be knights. Angelica was near their castle of blocks and Winston and Lewis were approaching it.

"Halt! Who dares enter the castle of Lady Angelica?" boomed the girl.

"'Tis us, Sir Winston Conway and Sir Lewis Anderson of some other castle," Winston announced in reply. "We've come to deliver an important message to your castle."

"What kind of message?" Angelica asked.

"Only a vital one such as this!" Lewis held up a folded piece of green paper and said, "'Tis for you, my lady." Angelica took the "message" from him and opened it up. Even though it had nothing but scribbles and stick drawings on it, she gasped, "What? Sign a peace treaty? This is madness!"

"Madness?" asked Winston as he stepped in front of the block of castle to face Angelica.

"Madness!"

"Madness?"

"Madness!"

"Madness?"

"That's right, madness!"

"Well then…this is _SPARTAAAAAAAA_!!!!" And with all his might, he kicked the castle of blocks down to the ground. That was when all heck broke loose in Ms. Ellis's classroom.

Almost instantaneously, Room 17 went from a classroom to a battlefield. Angelica and Lewis as well as Connor and some other children went on one side of the room whilst Winston, Johnny, and the rest of the class took to the other side. Lewis's side threw blocks, balls, and various toys. Winston's side, on the other hand, threw whatever the other side threw at them. At one point, Johnny threw a chair, but no one was hurt…badly.

"Stop it, guys!" Lillian protested as she held a rag doll with green button eyes. "Can't we make peace and get along?" When a chair crashed into the wall and exploded into pieces near her, Lillian panicked and rushed into the coat closet, which would be empty until late autumn, when the cold weather began to set in. She sat there and held the rag doll up to her eye level. "We'll be safe here, won't we, dolly?" the girl questioned as she hugged it. "Mama, mama!" it said piteously. Lillian smiled and said, "Oh, I'd knew you'd agree with me!" And she looked at the doll and added, "I'll ask Ms. Ellis if I can keep you, once this war is over. If she says yes, we'll be together. But if not…I'll think of a way to bring us together, dolly. Now, you need a name. Let's see…how about Leeanna? No, too ugly; you're pretty. How about Coral? It's pretty, but not good enough for you. Aha! I know! I'll call you Bella. Do you like it?" She hugged the doll and it went, "Mama, mama! IF YOU SQUEEZE ME AGAIN, SISTER, I'LL MAKE SURE THE COMPANY WHO CREATED ME SHALL SUE YOUR PANTS OFF!!!!" "You like it, dolly?" gasped Lillian. "Oh, you're _so_ polite, Bella! We have so much in common, I presume." She grinned from ear to ear as the battle continued outside the coat closet. "This will be the start of a wonderful friendship…Bella." But then, another boy showed up, from Johnny's side. His name was Marcus.

"Hello, Marcus," Lillian said.

"Greetings, Lillian," replied Marcus. "I see that you've escaped the battle."

"That's right, Marco, I did."

"Come on Lillie; we'll run away from here! And together, you and I shall create a classroom all by ourselves. It'll have pancakes, and comic books, and an endless supply of crayons!"

"Oh Marco," Lillian mused. "If we leave now, Ms. Ellis will get worried sick about us, and Room 17 will be at war forever. Besides, we have to put a stop to this."

"But how?" Marcus asked, eyebrows furrowed. "They're both throwing chairs!" Lillian leaned forward and whispered, "Okay, here's what we do…"

* * *

Meanwhile…

"TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HECK!!!" shouted Winston. His warriors went, "What??" "I…I mean…the dining hall," he said in a polite voice. They shrugged and continued the battle. Ms. Ellis had left the room to chat with the other preschool teachers, probably to chat about how handsome her boyfriend Derek was.

"Keep strong, boys and girls!" Lewis bellowed. "Don't let them win!"

There were cheers of agreement as the battle reigned on. Just then, Lewis spotted Johnny run towards his side. Grabbing some blocks and toys, he marched towards his neighbor, and in no time, they were facing each other. The silver eyes of Lewis met the hazel ones of Johnny.

"Come on, Lewie kiddo," Johnny taunted. "Bring it on."

"The name is Lewis!" retorted Lewis, beginning to throw all the blocks and toys he had straight at Johnny. The other kid fought back using all the Kung Fu techniques he'd learned off the internet. When he ran out of things to throw at his rival, Lewis began using as many fighting techniques he could muster: karate, Tae Kwon Doe, kickboxing, street fighting, and the most dreaded one of all…

"You's so ugly that mirrors break the millisecond your reflection shows up!" jeered Lewis.

That's right. The insulting one.

"Well…" Johnny pondered, thinking of a good insult. Finally, he said, "Well, you's so stupid that you once tripped over a cordless phone!" Seeing the life-to-death battle that was being wagered between the boys Lewis Anderson and Johnny Bryant, other kids joined in, defending either Lewis or Johnny (this depends on whose side they were on).

"Well, guess what, Johnny boy?" questioned Angelica. "You's so fat, that when you stepped on the moon, it cracked in half!" Her side cheered and whooped for her. She put her hands on her hips in pride.

One girl from Winston's side, known as Caroline, sneered, "Well, Miss Angelica, you's so ugly that…you made an onion cry!" Winston's side cheered and rooted for her. "Yeah! Go Caroline!" they cried in joy.

Connor marched straight up to Johnny and said, "Do you know what I think of you, Johnny? You's so dumb that you spent ten hours looking at a sign that said 'concentrate.'" Lewis's side burst out laughing at this remark.

But just as Johnny was about to think of the most horrible insult ever, both Marcus and Lillian rushed out of the coat closet. They raced out into the middle of the battlefield and stood there, Lillian faced Lewis's side; Marcus faced Johnny's. The rag doll Bella was in the girl's hands.

"Lewis, this must stop!" Lillian cried, her light brown eyes filled with determination as she gazed at him.

"You idiot, step down!" exclaimed Johnny angrily as Marcus stood in front of him. "I had a perfectly good insult, and you and Lillian made me forget it!" Marcus stuck out his tongue in response.

"Lillie, why is your intention for us is to discontinue our altercation?" Lewis questioned, eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay, I don't know what the heck you just said, but someone said that we were one," Lillian sighed. "Not sure what he or she meant, but now, I see the truth."

Angelica looked around and muttered under her breath, "Oh great, this is turning into some cartoon movie now."

Lewis realized this, and announced, with his arms raised upward, "Pupils of Room 17, hearken to my lament! Lillie is very ethical with this; we must discontinue our altercation, and recover the amity that'd been astray for almost half an hour too long."

At first, everyone in Room 17 was puzzled by what he'd just said (because of the strange words), but they slowly understood, and soon, everyone was apologizing to one another. Then, someone grabbed a maraca, tied it to a pole, and shook it above Lillian and Marcus, not to symbolize their love for each other (they're too young!), but instead, to give thanks for their help to stop the battle. With that cleared out of the way, everyone went to play three rounds of bingo followed by two rounds of Yahtzee.

"What an astonishing day!" Lewis exclaimed after the second round of Yahtzee. "I wish it'd never cease. I was considering that I wasn't going to have a gratifying day, but here I am, having a convivial time."

"Er…Lewis," Angelica said. "There is one thing—"

BRIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!

"Okay kids, TIME TO GO HOOOOME!!!" shouted Ms. Ellis as she flew back into the room. And yes, she did fly. "Get yar things together and meet me outside whilst I wait outside for my true love, Derek." She left.

"Wait, Ms. Ellis!" Lillian called to her. When the teacher returned to the room, the girl asked if she could keep the new doll she'd found. "I'll take extra nice care of her," Lillian added. "We'll have tea parties and play in the park…everything!" "All right, fine," Ms. Ellis sighed. "Keep her. I'm busy now." She then left so she could wait for her true love Derek.

Happily, Lillian looked at her new dolly. "Did you hear that, Bella? Ms. Ellis says I can keep you! We can be friends forever!" She squeezed her doll. "Oh, dreams do come true!"

"Mama, mama!" the doll said. "Mama, ma-WAIT A MINUTE. I have to get owned by _this_ weird girl? That's horrible!" And as her new owner skipped out of the room, with her new toy in her hands, Bella the rag doll wailed, "Wait, I didn't want this! My destiny was to be a plaything for every child who came to this classroom! To be thrown and caught and played with until I become old; then spend my final days in a dumpster! I want to _stay_ here and hang out with my homies when there's no school, drink during winter and spring break, and do my dance gigs in the summertime! Now this kid has _ruined_ it all for me! I didn't want this!!!"

As the children ran outside, they saw Ms. Ellis standing nearby the door they'd just exited from. This was the most reluctant part of the woman's job: watch the children get onto their buses safely. As she watched them go, she spotted her dear lover Derek. She ran to him and embraced him. They rode off into the sunset on a white horse.

Lewis followed Angelica and Winston outside to where the buses parked. Unfortunately for him, Angelica and Winston took different buses, so he bade his farewells and got onto his bus. There, as the bus drove away, Lewis resumed reading the dictionary he'd brought along.

"Let's see, now," Lewis muttered. "Let's look at the 'R' section…oh, look! Here's a word: rosaniline: 'a red dye, derived from aniline and orthotoluidine: a constituent of fuchsin.' Okay, I'll just go to the 'U' section and…hey! This is interesting: umiak: 'an open Eskimo boat consisting of a wooden frame covered with skins and provided with several thwarts, for transport of goods and passengers.' Now, I shall go to the 'A' section and…wow! Here's another great word: archetype: 'a model or first form; the original pattern or model after which a thing is made.'"

Suddenly, the bus jerked to a stop in front of Lewis's house. That and the fact that the bus was low on gas. The portly bus driver opened the door for Lewis, then snuck off to swindle gasoline from the nearest gas station.

The little boy stepped towards his home. He smiled when he saw his family and the servants (with the exception of Servant #6, who was still guzzling beer) standing outside his house and waiting for him.

"Hi Lewis!" said everyone except for Servant #12, who cheerfully said, "¡Hola Lewis! Hemos estado esperando su vuelta, y también jugamos juegos de tablero mientras que esperamos. ¿Cuide para hablar con nosotros sobre su día en el escuela, niño?"

"How'd it go, Lewis, my son?" Lancelot asked as Frances rushed to hug and kiss her son.

"It was proficient, Father!" Lewis replied when his mother backed off. "I had a certified time." "That's great, little brother," Peter said as he lit two dozen fireworks. "Now, it's time to celebrate!"

The fireworks soared up and cracked when they reached the blue sky. Everyone was amazed as they watched. When the spectacle was over, they went inside to play a fun game of Go Fish.

And thus, Lewis's first day of preschool ended.

THE END.


End file.
